Fear & Loathing in Diet&Exercise


Have you ever been so excited about a plan coming together that you want to shout it from every street corner and mountain top?  You know, that latest and greatest plan, you have been preparing yourself for, for a very long time!  You know in your heart and even deep in your soul it is THEE answer to so many problems and obstacles that have plagued your psyche and you get a rush of adrenaline just thinking about it!

Yeah me too.

All the time.

More so in past years, but one just recently.  The adrenaline rush and excitement, perhaps, seemed so much more intense because I have felt stuck for so many months.

Or so I thought.

My planned post for today was derailed my some truths and tears.  I’m sure you’ve been through it a time or to before.  Everything seems great.  You are reading something or watching a movie or listening to a conversation or even the lyrics to a song and WHAM! Blind sided by something that cuts so deep it immediately brings you to a powerful emotion.  Yep.. for me that is tears, the heartfelt release of something suddenly uncovered from benath my defenses or my denial.

That’s what happened today.   I was doing some research for a post about my plans to combine restorative yoga and functional fitness.   So, of course, I went to my favorite site on functional fitness written by Roy.

So, travel along with me.  I am excited, upbeat, and ready to write.  I am taking notes, mind racing miles ahead, and I read this post after searching his site for functional fitness posts.  Go ahead, go read it.  I’ll wait.



I have a few movie lines that have packed a powerful punch and still do.  Like “Pretty Women” It’s much easier to believe the bad stuff” or When Richard Gere says, “I’ve never treated you like a prostitute” and Julia says, “You just did”.  Or when she walks into the clothing store, “Remember when you wouldn’t wait on me yesterday? BIG MISTAKE!” or  the line out of “Good Will Hunting” where Robin William repeats over and over “It’s not your fault!” and of course, The Wizard of Oz, “You’ve always had the power…..she wouldn’t have believed me, she had to learn it for herself!”

Well Roy’s post was a rapid fire boxing match that packed as much wallup as all of those movie lines combined!

A big part of my life, I have prided myself on that other side of the story…

Yes, I am partial to that other side of the story, prided myself on that other side of the story, yet I am embarrassed to admit it fed a lively prejudice against fitness all these years, especially since that is where a heck of a lot of virtual friends and fellow bloggers live. For years, I have been studying weight loss and exercise as a manner to “seek first to understand, then be understood” philosophy.   But honestly, for the most part, I still  just don’t get it.

I read about people running 5K’s or marathons.  I read about feeling the blood filling their shoes, the pain of barely being able to walk, epsom salt baths, compression socks and taking days to recuperate. I read about foot injuries, leg injuries, boots and ankle braces for weeks.  I read about weight lifting and barely able to move, or cross fit competitions, spartan – warrior races, or spending 3 hours or more in the gym “training”.   I still don’t get it.  I admire these people’s accomplishments, admire their weight loss success, admire their muscles that show on their arms or legs, but I can not wrap my head around the pain they endure for the sake of looking good or the aesthetics.  Combine that with my own “curse” of injury each time I get motivated, it becomes a huge demotivating obstacles when I start to even plan to lose weight.

Mean Girls

Princess V is in 7th grade this year.  She had to face a tough decision (well a few of them) this year.   Her honest heart felt concern and worry of becoming a “mean girl”. She watched it play out in movies, books, and her first year of middle school last year.  If you are not popular, into athletics, boy crazy, wear make-up, you are placed in a “lower” crowd of people and treated mean by girls who don’t value the same things you do.  Yes, this is bullying these days, but that is one dimension that will not be fixed by all the anti-bullying campaigns there are.  Kids pick on other kids.   Because it is what they see others do.  It is the competitive spirit and having to be better yet the same as the others. It is unfortunately the American Way.  We often use a “ranking” system to support our values from the outside.  We look for “hooks” or “marketing” concepts to sell our ideas.

I watched the news reels play out about the young girl who cut her hair and the anti bullying. We went through the exact same thing last year.  The Princess cut off over 10 inches of her hair to donate to locks of love.   It was completely her idea after watching a few stories about little girls with cancer that lose their hair.  She took it further and set up a lemonade and cookie stand to earn money to donate too.  But for months, she would come home in tears because she was called a boy, or you were prettier with the long hair, or yes, even she was ugly now.  My advice to her:  Always remember why you did it.  That is a trait to be proud of and when you are sad because someone says something mean, just imagine the joy you gave another little girl.

Aesthetics versus Function 

hilda yoga

That imagining how others feel when I do something is my #1 motivator.   It fits with the seek to understand theory.  I can now see that is why I “struggle” with weight loss and exercise.   I don’t get it, so I can’t honestly imagine how it feels.   When I was training with Roy, he told me he hoped I could one day see how exercise could be a stress reliever rather than food.   Yoga is the one form of movement that gave me the introduction to that.  I pursued my practice solely as a function for stress management rather than aesthetics.   I happily admit that it is helping me slowly lose weight and gives me the peace of mind to understand myself and my fears about losing weight.  It has brought my fear and loathing of diet, exercise and body image to the surface of my understanding so that I no longer have to put myself above or below someone else in order to accept myself completely.

Understanding it is always more about function than aesthetics for me is what lead me to the excitement of creating a “workout” plan that incorporates the functional strength training with restorative yoga.   It will follow along with the tools I am already comfortable with like #wycwyc #just15minutes #habitstacking and #curvy yoga and honor my core beliefs and values all at the same time.  What a winning combination.

From Roy’s post — So now tell me, who the fit one is…?

The fit one is each and every one of us, whether it is mentally, physically or a combination and whether it is functional, aesthetic or a combination …..

It all starts, stops and continues from our understanding of ourselves FIRST, then the others can be understood!


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