In a Quiet Voice

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I wonder, lately, if all my efforts to quiet my mind, have quieted my voice.  Daily, the desire to write flows through my veins, yet the page sits utterly blank, other than the top line with the date glaring at me, as yet another day passes.

8/18/14

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Yes!  For a month now, draft after draft sit in my “post” folder.  My efforts to calm my stress, institute new habits, living a healthier, more active life, 15 minutes at a time, seem…..well, a little mundane, routine, and my OLD definition of boring.    But that leads to more questions than answers…..which are half thought out in those “drafts” filling my post folder.

The After Life of Binge Eating

If any of you are new here, I spent the better part of 40 plus years with an unhealthy relationship to myself, my body, and food.  By the time I was 8 years old, in 4th grade, I left the scale’s domain of one-der land. I visited that playground a few times during my teenage years after strict dieting or “diet” pill therapy, but it was only momentary.   I have been binge free, coming close to two years now, but ……..  I have lost very little weight since the change in that addictive behavior.

I am wading through the breakdown of my own huge expectations that once the binge eating stopped, the weight would come off.  Combined with a myth filled quiet voice inside that told me for more years than I care to count, that once I found someone to love me for who I am, not what I looked like, the weight would come off.

It’s that same myth filled voice that filled my mind with hope.  A hope that filled the grandeur of every other “weight loss will make life better” story.

But you want to know what……………

I would NOT trade any of the peace, happiness and freedom being binge free gives me for any number on a scale!

It just leaves a path wide open of where the bombshell girl and her attitude are heading!

With plenty more to come…………….

and for just a hint.. I leave you with this thought…

 

Break Free from your Mold……

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“Freedom” Sculpture by Zenos Frudakis in Philadelphia

 

Namaste!

Lead with Your Heart

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FOLLOW YOUR HEART I don’t know where it came from really.  I had a “sense” early on in my life to follow my heart.  Whether that was from my artistic self or just another means to escape the reality of physicality, I took on “following my heart” like Dorothy took to “following the yellow brick […]

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Is Physicality a Foreign Language to you?

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During my self-imposed hiatus from the healthy living facebook and blogging community, I was forced to face, head-on,   the foreign language of physicality. Defined by Miriam-Webster physicality is an intensely physical orientation, predominance of the physical, usually at the expense of the mental, spiritual, or social or simply defined as a physical aspect or quality. […]

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Quiet Restoration

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  Life is funny sometimes. Not ha, ha, LOL, type of funny but ironically strange, coincidental, and always seemingly moving us in directions we didn’t realize we needed to go. My last post, back in March, seems so far away, yet seems just like yesterday. From that post this paragraph: My most profound action to date […]

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Semblance of Order

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  I have spent the last few months trying to make sense of the semblance of order I pretended to have while still arguing with my disordered thinking within. My catalyst, to return to my favorite writing muse, Big Girl Bombshell, was facing my semblance of order head on.  While some say it takes courage, […]

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Ch.Ch.Ch. Changes

The end of December is a heavy contemplative time for me…and this year is no different Reviewing my year, planning my next year, vision board planning, and finding my next “word” of the year. My metamorphosis year has been just that….HUGE …so as I start 2014 there will be plenty of ch..ch..ch..changes… Enjoy your end […]

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Wait Training, and Resistance

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It was 1997.  I was riding the bullet train of super mom powers,. A heart devoted single Mom, with an awesome and satisfying career, with a second, part-time job teaching (my first and seemingly authentic passion) a homeowner, an online accelerated student, in the midst of the lifelong dream of obtaining my Bachelor’s degree, prepared […]

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HomeMade

My countdown has been derailed. I made the choice for a more homemade Christmas….. So, I am busy, crafting, baking and best of all….. these Christmas Gift Suggestions To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To […]

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#23 Countdown to Saving Christmas – Cyber Monday

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Here is the thing about Cyber Monday…. It’s becoming out dated,in my opinion. The first Cyber Monday was November, 2005 During that year and a few years after, the online deals were incredible. But the last few years have lost its luster. Black Friday goes on for a week and those deals bleed over onto […]

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#24 Countdown to Saving Christmas – What to Expect

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Tomorrow is Cyber Monday…..My annual shopping day… I am surfing and drafting a post for the best deals for Cyber Monday and putting a LONG list together for some of the best loyalty bucks deals I have seen in a long time… To tide you over and start preparing you for the week to come, […]

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