In just a few hours, we head off to the hospital for Big Puppy’s kidney stone surgery. Rather than fear and anxiety, I am filled with gratitude and the reinforced faith in things outside ourselves.
It is solely because of this kidney stone that the cancer was discovered. Who knew, back at the end of October, that this one simple CT scan would send us to the revolving door of tests, both medical and faith based, and have us both looking at life with much wider, open eyes.
I often used, and reinforced, the ending of things with the quote, “When one door closes, another door opens” but what I didn’t realize is that is only the beginning of the quote. It finishes with:
but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
Isn’t that so true?!
Looking at closed doors asking
“What could I have done different?”
When often the answer is “Nothing!”
Revolving doors are a better analogy of what life can be. You can see what is behind you, what is in front of you, and all the scenery surrounding you and you choose where to step out at any given moment. I remember, as a kid, either loving or hating the revolving door. Sometimes I would fear getting stuck but most of the time I loved being able to see all around me and it being like a magical carousel ride.
Big Puppy starts chemo next Monday, right before Christmas. His lymphoma is fast growing so we need to get started right away. The biggest thing I am learning, and something I’ve never heard before, is with cancer you can’t make plans. It is TRULY a day to day living.
My revolving door in this blog genre of health, weight, and well-being has taught me many, many things for which I am grateful for at this moment in time. My paths of mindfulness, consciousness and trying to steer toward health rather than the just the scale has prepared me a little bit for what is ahead for us.
My revolving door is showing me where to head into for the year 2015.
I’ve admitted to myself that while I preach that all my efforts were for my health rather than the scale, and I had closed the door on the scale ruling my actions, I guess I was still, subconsciously, look regretfully at that closed door of the scale measuring my worth.
One thing, early on, that Roy told me, (besides just 15 minutes) was his hope that I would find exercise to be a coping mechanism rather than food. In the midst of all the ups and downs of the last 2 months, exercise has helped but what I was shown is my best coping mechanism lies within my creativity. Not just writing, but in drawing, painting, learning to crochet, and DIY crafting with Princess V. Cooking, gardening and up-scaling are all parts of that puzzle too.
My focus for 2015 will be within my realm of creativity and all that entails for me. Creativity and producing from that is my biggest motivator which I set aside a lot in my underlying regrets in pursuing that scale number. I am going back to some of my natural tendencies and my long held but often forgotten personal mission statement.
To help, encourage, and motivate others to reach for their own potential,
through my own creative and spiritual example
As I move forward to closing out this year,
I am not closing any doors.
I will be walking within my revolving door
with my word for 2015
Have a magically blessed ending to this year!
What is your focus for the new year?