Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Nothing’s Working

How often do you tell yourself, “Nothing’s working!”  You can tell yourself that you have tried everything and still nothing is working.  Those catch-all words are a dangerous place to go.  I often talk about the black or white thinking.  But, for me at least, it sends me to the isle of defeat.  Why does it have to be All or Nothing?  Where did that come from?  Is it perfectionism?  There are few things that are truly perfect.

Seth Godin summed it up nicely in his post,”Think Differently”.  He said our mantra usually is Try Harder.  I know for me, that is what I have done.  If I decide to change something, I try and try and try. I push myself.  I work hard to make the changes I say I want.  When I do not see the results I am hoping for, I try a little harder.  If that continues not to work, more times than not, I give up and I quit.  Like he says, it’s impossible to try harder when you are already trying as hard as you can.  That is why we often give up and fall into the nothing’s working space.  His suggestion, If it’s not working, harder may not be the answer, but you can ALWAYS try different!  Kinda of like, work smarter not harder.

Change is hard. But it doesn’t have to be.  Wasn’t it Albert Einstein who said, “The definition of insanity is to keep doing what we have always done expecting different results.”  No matter what you want to change, whether that be your weight, your career, your relationships, your bank account or even your blogging, it still boils down to change.   But perhaps, instead of being overwhelmed by it, just start to think of the small things you can do differently.

There have been several posts about Self-Acceptance in the weight loss arena.  Diane and Sue posted their own today.  When I get stumped or start questioning things, I look up the words.  Acceptance means a person’s experiences without attempting to change it, protest it, or exit.  It is both disliked and unchangable or when change means a great cost or risk.   Next, I looked up the word Denial.  That means being faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept so it is rejected.  That lead me back to black or white thinking.  The Nothing’s Working attitude.

Is it really that nothing is working or am I doing the same thing expecting different results?  yes, I accept myself as I am today but that acceptance doesn’t mean I am settling.  We are the sum of all our parts.  There are some things I don’t want to change, but there are some that I do.  So, today I will take Seth’s advice and think differently.  Instead of accepting or denying, I think I will move toward self wisdom.

I will accept the things I truly cannot change (like other people), look for the courage to change the things I can, but certainly seek the wisdom to know the difference between the two!

Isn’t that why we write and read blogs?  We are searching for change and the hope of an answer.  What one thing can you try differently to create the end result you are looking for?  Share it.  It might just spark something for someone else.

What is the one thing that you can think differently today?