Wonder-Full Man Wednesday with Slimmin Sam

Wonder-full Man Wednesday with Slimmin Sam.  This is the last post in the series written from the male perspective. As in all good things, he may be the last male poster, but certainly not the least.  His tagline on his blog is about his journey to be half the man I am so I can become the man I want to be.  This series has turned out better than I had intended when I came up with the idea.  LOVE how that happens.
Come back tomorrow for the final post in the series.  You might just be a little surprised! 

A Male perspective on losing weight

Man, I wish I had gone first because Steve, Jack and Ryan have made some very good points.  I fear I will pale in comparison (well no one is as pale as Ryan, so I can’t be that bad).  Just as Steve said, I am in no way an expert or even sometimes relevant when it comes to male understanding.  I know most females won’t believe it, but guys actually DO think differently.  WE actually have different opinions, and are not actually the same… YES I SAID IT… Deal.  Having said that, I find that some of my beliefs are radical and unfounded, but I say them because that is how I am, and of course since we are all the same, that means all men are like me…. WAIT….

DO WE CARE?

HELL YES…  I mean, of course our perception of our own body image weights heavily on our perception of ability, worth, and aptitude. I truly believe this.  In many cases, this is why confidence is such a rarity in men of size.  I know from personal experience that it is difficult to have enough confidence when you are roughly the size of two people.  The confidence to body mass ratio just is too great to overcome.  I could go into complex mathematic deviations, but believe me; men do care about this stuff.  Most of the time we would not openly say that it is important, but a man my size who doesn’t admit it is either a liar or will be dead soon enough (yeah that was too harsh… sorry). 

I am ruled by a subconscious part of my mind in most cases.  While being overweight was never on the forefront of my mind when I was younger, that fact ruled every decision I made.  I disarmed people with laughter before they could crack a joke.  I was first in and last out for gym so people wouldn’t see me in gym clothes.  While I never made these decisions purposely, it was that part of me who knew who I was that drove the car.  In many cases, I think the male mind works that way.  We put these cruise control processes in our head and they direct us.  Now I know many males will disagree with me… but I firmly believe this.  Think about it for a while.  Especially the women out there…  Have you ever wondered if your husband/boyfriend/etc was even thinking when they did/said/wrote something?  I am sure you will find enough evidence of that

What is important is to click the cancel on some of those cruise control thoughts and starts new processes.  For me, it was what I ate.  I would come home, slap together several pieces of cheese, some mayo, whatever else I could find and grab a few coke cans and sit in front of the TV… and that was just my getting home snack. There were times I didn’t even remember eating.  So, to answer in the longest way possible this question, we do care… even though sometimes we don’t know it.

Body Image

This not a female only concept.  I would dare to say every man struggles with this.  It doesn’t matter who you are, but there is a natural male gene that always wants to be stronger, leaner, greener, machiner,… in whatever way possible.  My first goal was to be able to see myself in a single mirror without standing 50 feet away, but without a doubt I believe this is something every man struggles with.  Just like Steve said, we have our own biblical (GQ, Men’s Fitness) ideals that we should be fitting.  These images portray the perfect human form (about 2,000 different ones) and we gobble it up and wish, pray, sell our soul to Satan (that was just me) to end up looking somewhat similar to those. 

Appearance

Not much I can say here that is different than the other guys… I definitely agree with Steve about the boobs part.  I would love to wear a t-shirt without my Manzier or BRO…  BTW that was a joke, I don’t wear that with T-shirts, just formal wear.

Self-Esteem

Now here is the biggest part of this I believe.  I alluded to it in the first point, but confidence is king… and I (and people like me) end up being jesters in the royal hall.  Self-Esteem is very important in life as we try to conquer our fears, claim our hopes, and catch our dreams.  We can’t do any of those if we constantly think we are not good enough.  This coupled with many male attitudes of (fake) bravado, is a perfect storm of self-conscious, penis toting maniacs.  I should know… not only am I the president, I am also a member.

Relationships

Now I will go with the stereotype on this one.  Being overweight does make it VERY difficult to find a date or have a relationship.  You can become the best friend and a source of support for a female, but that rarely turns into a relationship.  In fact, that just distresses us more… which leads us to eat… and so forth.  In most cases, we think too low of ourselves to go out there and even ask and then beat ourselves up when other people end up with the girl.  The self-esteem plays a huge part in it, but also just plain male idiocy mixes right in.  And if we are lucky enough to get into a relationship, our low self-esteem can drive our girlfriends crazy with our jealousy, doubt, etc.

Summary

I have no *#*$*#  idea what I just said, but to boil it down, there are few emotions that are gender specific.  A year ago, I would have been one of those who would never openly say this was true, but this journey has truly taught me a lot about myself.  The biggest difference is that I (men) are sometimes so stubborn we never get to the point of admitting these things… but  whether we admit them or not, they are true…. Well for me anyway and of course no one else matters (see… I am the FREAKING MAN)!