In a Land, Far, Far, Away

In a land, far, far, away, I was a different person.  Always trying to fit in and never being comfortable with who I am.  This journey started more about blogging than it did about anything else. But the rewards have been insurmountable.  It seems like so long ago that I started this blogging journey but really it was like it was only yesterday.  It has been an evolution into myself.  I have cracked through all the old ways of thinking and I feel renewed.

I feel like I am just waking up to my life!  All those years, I would dig deep, push down my feelings with food, and then pull up the determination and strength and willpower to try to change it all.  What it has come down to, for me, is the willingness to learn.  Learning to stop the insanity.  You know, those things that you continue to do over and over and over again, but expecting different results.  Perhaps, that is truly the difference between giving up something or changing something.  To truly change, you have to learn new behaviors.

I spent the first month of this year, making my list of what I wanted for myself this year.  My mantra for 2010 is I live.  I vowed to myself I was no longer going to let my weight be my excuse for holding myself back.  I would try new things that I often said, NO to, without even giving it a chance.  I had no idea when I started that, what was in store for me.  I started out the year with wanting a 100 followers on my google friends, but secretly wishing for a following like Jack Sh*t or Darren, the ProBlogger.  I joined this community and that community trying to be popular and fit in.  I stepped up to this challenge and that challenge, pulling myself in a million different directions. I joined twitter and tried to join in the conversations while secretly feeling so uncomfortable and like a fish out of water.  I had some of the in crowd write guest posts, hoping that would bring me into the fold.  But one of my favorites out of that week long guest post idea, was Slimmin Sam.

Sam is one of my favorite bloggers, because he is just like so many of us, especially when we start this journey.  Wanting to be somebody different, wanting to fit in, be that person that we honestly see in the mirror, but it is SO HARD to portray to the outside world, on a day to day basis, because of all the things the weight has limited us to and done to our confidence.  Lurking, reading, wishing, hoping, and just wanting to be part of the crowd.

The bottom line…..some of us are just not like that.  We want to help people, but it becomes more one on one.   Sam’s  post the other day, really got to me.  It is short, not so sweet, but totally honest.  He is tired and frustrated. Oh, so many of us have been there, so, so, many times.  So let’s help him out and show him the true meaning of this weight loss blogging community.  This is my crusade this week.  Spread the word.  Let’s give support to this man who is grasping for support and is feeling shame because he just wants to fit in………….. just like a lot of us on this journey.  The journey is really about fitting in to WHO you want to be, the best you possible!!