Little Princess had a melt down last night. A BIG meltdown! An hour of huge crocodile tears, the eyeore philosophy over running the conversation, of woe is me, and that deep breath stuttering of the pressure because her friend kept saying, “I won’t be your best friend, anymore!” if you don’t……………….
She’s only 8 years old. But, it is a reality of life. Often times, I think it is just a girl thing (Guys chime in please) because I didn’t seem to hear that from my son. But the #1 Princess and now little princess go through the same thing. The hurt, the tears, the pressure to fit in, and how it makes you feel. And unfortunately, that doesn’t just come from other kids, it can come from adults too.
It brings me to that all time question (as a parent, of course) Why can’t everyone just get along? Why do we use friendship and/or our love and attention as leverage, often times to get what we want? Where does that come from? Girls seem to be one on one more than boys. Boys tend to lean toward the “group” or “team” process a little more. In my humble opinion of course.
Being a parent is hard, hard work. Absolutely, no doubt in my mind it is one of the hardest jobs EVER! But it is also one of the biggest honors. I learn a TON through my children, I grant you that. But my biggest lessons came AFTER they took those first steps out of the safety of my ever constant watchful eye. When they start school, have a little independence, but have to deal with a LARGE amount of personalities. Not the play dates we can choose for them. When they take ALL that we teach them out into the world.
My biggest lesson was, and still is: I can’t control things that happen to them. I can only guide them and teach them to trust me and to come to me with ANYTHING, and they won’t be judged! Give them tools to prepare and try to stay confident when people treat them differently than they are use to.
Because reality is, there is a whole world of difference out there. We can see the things they pick up from us that are adorable and cute when they are little, won’t always work in the real world. It reminds me that you ABSOLUTELY have no control of ever minute of every day. You CANNOT always be there to protect them.
This leads me to my wish for today. Jamie had this to ask for Wishcasting Wednesday. (Yes, I know I said I was stopping that, but sometimes it is meant to be)
Her prompt today: “Where do you wish to send some love?”
Today, I want to send some love, no, actually LOTS of love to all the children out there who have to deal with emotional overload from things that most adults don’t want to deal with. The children who DON’T have the love and parental guidance that I carry as a proud banner of the title MOM. I send Tons and Tons and Tons of love to the children who are neglected or abandoned by so called parents or grandparents.
As you sit in the safety and comfort of your home this morning, send out loving thoughts to all those others who do not have an inkling of what you have! There is a huge world out there beyond the comfort of our computers that we often don’t take the time to look at. There is a lot of that I won’t be your BFF going on….
Today, I will send my love and give my smile to someone who needs it a hell of a lot more than my BFF!
What about you?
One of the hardest parts of being a parent, IMO, is seeing you child struggle with anything. I have to hold myself back from trying to fix things, knowing it is best to let them learn for themselves. And I agree that the whole social scene for girls is so much worse. I remember middle school and shudder. I always wanted a daughter but there are moments when I am glad I just have boys.
As Jules wishes for herself and the world, so I also wish.
Sometimes – although not often enough – it just takes a hug or special shared moment …. Khe rest of the time it seems that we get to revisit the bad days of youth as well as the great joys as invisible hitchhikers on our children’s shoulders.
As Jules wishes for herself and all of the children, I wish for her as well. Growing up is hard but so much less so when you have people who love you.
Amen!! I’m with you, sending the LOVE to the children. Bless them ALL!!!
I had to sign in using Firefox instead of Goggle Chrome in order to comment, but I really wanted to comment on this one. First let me preface it by saying I am not a mother. I am a stepmom, though, and have been honored to help raise my three stepkids who are now 25, 28 and 31. I’ve been part of their lives for 15 years.
So here’s my angle on “kids learning lessons”: we so want for them to not feel any pain or anguish. We don’t want them to fail, feel stupid, be fat, unhealthy. And yet, and yet…we felt those things…and we lived. We struggled. We thrived. We had moments of victory! We cried, ranted, raved and laughed. And what a gift it is!! We didn’t “get it” all at once and have perfect lives. And neither will our kids. And so who are we to take that away from them?
That said, I will admit that seeing those kids struggle is the hardest thing EVER!!
My son is 30 and I feel the same about his pain as I do for my 4 yr. granddaughter, accept I now recognize his need to do or not do something about what is paining him. He rarely shares what ails him, but when it’s big he does and more to talk then have me fix it. I wish I could have had a parent like me instead of continuing the pain which you all know leads to many vices – beginning with not caring about yourself. Very powerful article, Jules, thanks for taking time from your busy schedule to keep me thinking
Beautiful wish.
As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well!!
I definitely seems like more an issue with girls…or they are more vocal about it. Hopefully it teaches them what they truly want out of friendships.
As Jules wishes for herself and all the children out there, so I truly wish for them and ourselves also.
Beautiful post Jules. In some ways I envy how children can make fast friends with new kids they meet. They just want to play, they don’t have all the judgment in the way. On the other hand, children can also be so cruel and I’ve seen that through raising my own children when they come home frustrated, crying, and feeling like life is over. Unfortunately those children get that from how they see adults act. My wish for everyone, young and old, is peace. Peace in how you see yourself and peace in how you treat others. We all exist on this earth to help one another – my opinion of course.
As Jules wishes for herself, I wish for her also. What a great wish and love the prompt for it.
As Jules wishes for children everywhere, so I wish as well!
That’s such a beautiful wish, Jules! As you wish for yourself, and the children of the world, so I wish for you and with you as well!
I am so with you!!!! It is togh out there & even harder these days for kids.
I have a stepdaughter that home schools due to the probs she had with kids in school.
There was also a news story hear about 10 & 11 year old brothers that both committed suicide together. What prompts kids that age to do this.
Yes, lots of love to them all!
As Jules wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. Yes, so many children need love.
As you wish, I do too. It’s hard being a child these days.
lordy this parenting thing is hard.
I read parenting with love and logic well before my daughter (when I was working in the classroom a lot a teacher recommended it to me) & picked that as my mama-primer
the biggest challenge is letting her fall (literally and metaphorically) and learn she’s still ok.
the biggest challenge is striving to teach her she doesnt need me!!!…so that she learns to be on her own and WANT to return to me some day.
Oh yeah, my six-year-old SON says the same darn thing! But I do think girls may carry on a tad bit more. What a good wish!
As Jules wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
Dear Jules…I feel for you..I have 2 grown daughters and wrestled with those same issues when they were young. Their little egos can be so fragile when they are young..how wonderful for them to have a mom who is so committed to nurturing them. You are right…if we are loved and have those to love around us..we are blessed. As jules wishes for herself, so i wish for her also!