So, its time to get over it and just share my garden..well, what there is of it…
As I have talked and talked about, not much is growing but the weeds. I got 1 tiny radish, one cucumber and about 10 beets. That’s it so far.
Ah…but yet the lessons….disappointment and then shame. Ashamed to share it…Embarrassed….
The BIGGEE….. Being disappointed in what I DIDN’T get instead of Appreciating what I did get…
I am realizing that is the struggle. @MisheMarie and I have exchanged a couple of tweets about being addicted to the struggle.
I believe there is a lot of truth to that. I have realized a lot of things this week, starting my new eating plan. I got comfortable with the denial. Denying myself. I became loyal to my thoughts.
I accomplished some BIG things this week. BIG for me anyway. My biggest: I rode a bicycle for the first time in well over 15 years. Two nights we went out on family bike rides. All the months and months, of walking with the little princess, while she rode her bike. The proud feeling when my #1 Princess got on a bicycle after not getting back on one since she had fallen and broken her arm when she was little.
So it brings me back to the garden. Being embarrassed and ashamed has held me back from SO many things. The pride I felt when each of my children got past their hurdles. It was all a matter of DENYING myself. That is what I was use to. The emotional eating cycle, for me, based on DENIAL……depriving myself and then trying to fill the void or working diligently to fill the void for others.
Instead of telling myself what I couldn’t do, or what I shouldn’t do, or the embarrassment and the shame of my weight fed my thoughts, I am reminded to look at what I can try, what I can do, and being proud of me.
I have been writing affirmations for a long, long, long time. It is not until we address the feeling behind the affirmation that we can start to change it.
My affirmation: I free myself of others people’s opinions. I release the weight of denial!
What can you do today, to appreciate what you do have instead of focusing on what you don’t?
Easier said than done, but I like the intentions.
I will plead evolution here; that focusing on what we don’t have helps carry us beyond where we are.
As far as the garden goes, it is a process that took me nearly 10 years to understand and get ahead of…. slow……
That is awesome. Keep focusing on what makes you happy and proud. Not what you think others will think of you. You’re doing great and accomplishing so much. Keep it up
I am trying Jules! A work in progress but I have gotten better but need more practice!
Thx for the push!
I think you’re right, it is the struggle. Every day, I’m choosing to see the tiny opportunities that present themselves to me and focus my attention on the tiny buds peaking out from under the foliage of my life instead of seeing only the weeds. Remembering that while I might not see the sprouts above ground, there is movement and growth under the surface. Patience and care and understanding will allow those sprouts to show their heads when they’re ready.
So excited for you and your bicycle ride. I took Jenny for a run yesterday today too. Love it!
Good for you! I need to remember that I am trying to be more optimistic in life. Thanks for the little reminder.
This is so true.It’s all about daily choices and trying to see the good in things.
It is so true and easier said than done. Funny you wrote this. I’ve been thinking about getting a bike, but I said to my husband, “Let’s wait until I weigh…” I don’t want anyone to think my butt swallowed the bike (lol). Maybe I need to rethink this.
I have been so addicted to the negative to more pain, more struggle, more hardship …..giving it up has been so challenging.
Today I embrace being grateful and expectantly hopeful …and I let go of the need to live in my past.
I’m so proud of you about the bicycle riding!!!! I just had a similar victory only it was swimming (posted about it). As you say, we need to focus on what we can and do accomplish, forgive our mistakes and take baby steps.
GO YOU!
for me today and every day is about accepting myself where I am.
YES! Your retelling of the bicycle ride with your family brought a smile to my face.