What’s the Difference?

What’s the Difference?  Honestly, the difference is how I LIVE my life today.  Not the way I think, not what I believe, but how I LIVE it.

You guys are probably tired of hearing about it, think I might be bragging or rubbing it in someone’s face, but my life is going to go through some more changes and Hell Yes! I am excited, thrilled, and just want to share my joy!  No other ulterior moment.  The Woman’s Day Slimdown Project officially starts on Monday! I am one of the bloggers involved in this “chance of a lifetime* and you know what….I am damn proud of that! Why am I proud of that?  Because I view it as a gift.  An honest to goodness gift from that unseen power beyond the clouds, up in the sky, that give me those stars every night!

It is one of those rare gifts, that I have talked about a few times on this here blog.  You know, how I view the honor of being a Mom, when I went back to school in my late thirties and accomplished what I did.

The last few weeks have been a roller coaster ride, especially in terms of how people react.  It helped me to see quite a few things about myself, that have lead me to sabotage myself in the past.  I went back a year on this here blog…its about the time I started…  Here is something I wrote:

Portion Recognition and Body image go hand-in-hand.  How we see ourselves in the mirror is directly related to portion sizes.  It is what we believe to be the truth……Let’s take a small trip down memory lane.  Back in the 50′s and early 60′s, pin-up girls were the symbol of sexiness.  Women like Jayne Mansfield, Marilyn Monroe, Bridget Bardot, Sandra Dee, Sophia Loren, and Gina Lollobrigida.  It was rumored that Marilyn Monroe got up to size 16.  Whether that is true or not, these women were gorgeous but today they would be labeled plus size or overweight.

So, today, what’s the difference?  It’s what I see and believe in myself.  I am beginning to trust myself!  Not what others say about me, not what others tell me to do, not trying to fit in, but being unique and PROUD of it!  Not ashamed, not embarrassed, but PROUD.

I have had a ton of struggles through my life and my weight has been a direct correlation to what I thought.  The thing that sends me headed toward the Oreo Cookies and the Ho Ho’s the fastest is when I feel others want a piece of me, are trying to harness me, or mostly, when they don’t see me for who I truly am.

I spent SO MANY years trying to fit in, be what others thought I should be but I am one in a million—-JUST like you.

THAT is why I write, and write what I do.   To remind myself that marching to my own drum is OKAY.  Others have lots of wisdom to share and sometimes, well more often than not, I can take away a small piece that works for me.

One of my all time excuses in my life:  I will lose weight when I find someone who loves me for who I am.   Well, guess what…..It’s when I found people who are just as unique as me!  People who have had a ton of struggles too…and who care enough to share those things….That is the true meaning of support… for me…AND what has lead me to see and HONOR my own uniqueness.  Not being the cheerleader, not being leader or the follower at all….but being just who I am with all the ups and downs life has to give, AND sharing those heartfelt thoughts, no matter what. You do that with your posts and your comments.  I take those to my heart.

It is with that support that I am ready…YES I’m really ready to PARTICIPATE in this Slimdown project before me.. and just be me….and to let that uniqueness shine through.  Yes, just like a year ago, I believe portion recognition and body image goes hand in hand.  Portion recognition ISN’T just about food. It’s about recognizing the portions of who I am that I don’t get enough of and the portions I overindulge in.

So, yes, we are headed for a good place.  I have my meal plan, I am making my shopping list and putting reminders all around me.  AND I still intend to share it with you well, because writing about it, sharing it, is what makes me accountable TO ME!