I awoke this morning to the sound of rain. Yes, the pitter-patter of the rain outside my window.
Normally, I would welcome the rain when I am in this mood.
A day that would provide me with the excuse to stay in my PJ’s all day, watch old movies, and just relax.
Bundle up…and enjoy the sounds. Contemplate the newness just around the corner.
But there was another reminder with those raindrops today.
You see, today is the parade. The local Santa is coming celebration. AND Princess V and her Brownie troop are IN the parade. AND Big Puppy is driving the float.
YES! We have a Plan B. The float will be decorated with a LARGE umbrella in place.
BUT the bigger lesson here is that strong reminder…..I have NO control. There is something MUCH bigger than I that always has something else planned.
A higher power…a driving force…that continues to propel me to my purpose…my authenticity… ESPECIALLY when I want to curl up in a ball and feel sorry for myself.
My lifelong battle with the scale. It does NOT measure who I am! But yet….perhaps I still let it….
The duality of that self-image still rages on.
Maybe…..just maybe…that long hidden post…The one that I have been too fearful to hit PUBLISH…maybe its time……..
Maybe tomorrow………..
But for today……I will just enjoy the rain.
Not letting the scale measure who we are is so stinking tough. I waver back and forth in my war with killing that to death. I’m on an upswing in that battle right now and I feel so much more at peace with myself.
You are definitely not alone in this struggle.
I can dig it. For years it did but now as I struggle to keep myself healthy and alive, it means more than “who I am” to another or others, it means “I wanna be healthy” and a higher weight shows I’m not taking care of myself as I could be. It is a balancing act, Jules. You have my support and I read and see, many others. Blessed be.
http://www.juneahern.com
I always am reminded of my true powerlessness when the weather changes unexpectedly. It’s a great lesson about the futility of plans, flexibility, and creativity!
YEs… I was caught in a torrential downpour last weekend when I was out running.. nothing I could do but run on….
very powerful, yet vulnerable post. You write very well and it shows. Too many similarities here. Enough said.