New Year’s Day! A day often filled with the excitement of plans for change. The thrill and anticipation of starting something new to FINALLY get to be the person you want to be. What I am learning is it is the thrill, the excitement, and the NEW that is usually the motivator and the thing that can eventually lead to being stuck. NOT the actual change.
Think about it. The only REAL answer to the changes is consistent, committed, daily actions that support the changes you want and can become boring. I know, in the past, that is what would derail me the quickest. Boredom.
Boredom: the state of being weary and restless through a lack of interest. Boredom is a state of malaise, close to anxiety, and characterized by a feeling of emptiness. Yep, the feeling of emptiness that I strive to fill.
The things that I know help motivate me are my spirituality based on the 12 steps, writing, the Artist Way, and being creative. It also puts me in a place where I worry what others think. Artist can often be viewed as drifters, dreamers, undisciplined, sometimes even a bit crazy. AND the flipside, I am a people pleaser and I yearn to be well liked. I often worry too much about what others will think. That is the underlying conflict within my recovery. It leads to the anxiety. I just want to *feel* good but be good and well liked. Feeling good about why I am here, what I think my purpose is. That is my freedom I seek.
All my life, yes..all, I have been searching for some type of freedom. My body yearns for that feeling, that physical reaction that will lead me to feeling free. It can be an array of things that many people *think* it can be. We tend to think as long as it fits in to what all the rest of us trying to live this healthy lifestyle than it is okay. An exercise high, a new challenge, a misstep with a binge, a new diet, new book, new exercise dvd, or a new exercise routine at the gym can all briefly bring about that thrill, motivation, and excitement of some sort of freedom. But, eventually I get bored with the routine.
So, I am currently working on CONTINUING. Julia Cameron’s Walking in the World. The PRACTICAL Art of Creativity. It is deemed further steps along the Artist Way. The added tool..the weekly WALK.
What motivates you? What about boredom? What allows you to feel free? What can you CONTINUE?