Let’s have a Heart to Heart

It’s time for a heart to heart chat, so pull of your chair, get comfy, grab your cup of coffee or tea or water and just settle in.

Are you relaxed or are you racing through to get caught up on all the blog reading while you steal a moment for yourself?

Here’s the deal.  I really care about you.  YES YOU!   No matter if you have 300 lbs to lose or just 30, it is not a matter of what that scale says, because there are tons of other numbers to measure your health.

Often, on the blogs, we have those that are in pursuit of the scale number and then there are those that say they just want a healthy lifestyle.  If that is the truth, the honest truth, of JUST wanting to be healthy, when is the last time you had a check-up?  When is the last time you checked in with your doctor and had a standard blood test, your blood pressure taken, a mammogram or a pap smear.   These test and numbers are extremely important to self-care.  I check on these things annually.

Tomorrow, Saturday, is World Heart Day.  I was contacted this week by the Director of Sister to Sister, an organization dedicated to Women’s Heart Health and asked to help spread the word about their site, Sister to Sister.  YOU can make a pledge to commit to your journey toward heart health AND self-care. Also, on their site, you can take a self-assessment for your heart health.  I did!

But time for some real honesty.  Last week, I got the results of my annual labs and the doctor wanted me to come in to talk about them.  Some of my blood work numbers were up. His advice — lose weight, exercise, and quit smoking.  Yes.  I am a smoker.  The smoking is my bigger shame and embarrassment, more than my weight, however, it is so deeply tied and entangled within my weight and body myths, I didn’t know where one started and the other stopped.  The smoking often times holds me back and isolates me from social stuff more than the weight.   It runs my schedule, often times, more than food.   Oh…my longing for the willpower to stop combined with my weight fears left me in a constant swing..and yet…I isolated because of my shame.

Last June, a post on a weight lifted, hit my heart hard.  Not Another Success Story from the Binge Eating Diaries actually talked about the author’s struggle and the complex tie-in of smoking with binge eating and weight loss.  I commented but felt MAJOR anxiety about it for days.  This was my comment:

Thank you Jacki. This is one of the first ever posts that connects the quitting smoking with the food…binge thoughts. OMG that is me…so much me…I bought the e-cigarettes but did a total deprivation thing…scale moved a couple of notches and it was all out the window.. Thank you for sharing this

Part of my pledge for my heart  health is to quit smoking.  I have picked my quit date, 10-11-12, catchy isn’t it, and I am going to face the fear of this head on.  But I am scared to death.  I have already seen my *binge* thoughts playing themselves out the last few days since the doctor visit and I am walking that tightrope again.  The last few days I have allowed and “counted” the points for my sweets but I am a nervous wreck.  So, I turn to where I feel supported and cared for….here….so there you have it.   Time to hit publish and walk away.

my mantra….Feel the fear….and do it anyways….


  1. checking in and have yer back too :)

  2. You can do this!

  3. I’ve got your back Jules! What kind of support do you have in place?

    I also want to say that I have been faithful in understanding my numbers and get regular blood work done in order to stay healthy. To me, they are the most important numbers!

  4. Jules, I admire your courage for both writing about this and setting your quit date.
    I’m so glad you’re taking care of your health this way. I will be rooting for you every day.
    You can do it.
    You have a great attitude and a plan.
    sending lots of love and big hugs.