Being a thinker and a dreamer was driven by the underlying negativity of questioning “Am I good enough”. The gears in my brain spinning wildly to find ideas to prove that mere statement to be true. Seeking the proof from the approval of others first, left me with a false belief that then and only then, would I be able to believe it of myself. Alas, it only left me spinning my wheels.
This sole question prompted my word for 2013, Metamorphosis. Chosen from resounding feelings of the word transformation not being lofty enough for my intentions (and expectations) for myself. The wise voice within engaged itself with an inner thought battle between the overwhelming simplicity of slowing down and being mindful, giving up “dieting”, taking care of myself first, and learning to pay attention to my body and my past perceptions and experiences simultaneously.
Even within the word itself, I chose it because I had to stop a moment, each time I wrote it, to insure that I spelled it correctly. Defining the word; a complete change of physical form, character, appearance, and/or substance, all packaged neatly within the symbol of a butterfly, gave ease to reminding me what it is I want for myself.
But the true question and thought pattern slapped me across the face as I read the forward, written by her own daughter, Domenica Cameron-Scorsese, in Julia Cameron’s latest book, The Artist Way-For Parents.
Am I doing it RIGHT enough?
Followed simply by the words that somehow
we don’t match up the words of
GOOD and FUN
as being equal.
I spent the better part of my life in search of doing it RIGHT enough based on others standards. Feeding the comparison monster, by always trying to do it RIGHT enough. Defining that doing it RIGHT was serious business with no room for fun.
It left me feeling empty and disconnected. I even made my creativity journey a task that needed to be right. I lost the whole point until I started accepting and getting attached to the art of mind.full living. That meaning my mind is full of ideas and right thinking but my actions are not.
The disconnect is in the simplicity of how the gears work.
Gears transmit power from one part of a machine to another and they help in increasing speed, force, or change direction.
The mind and the body and the spirit must all connect. It’s not about doing it right enough.
It is simply about doing it connected!
Progress, not perfection, is the cog of any metamorphosis.
How do you feel about the statement “am I doing it RIGHT enough?” How has that affected you?