Namaste

om namaste

  I DID IT! Yesterday, I had my first "true" yoga session Oh, I have tried yoga before but this one was different For years now (seems to be a repeating pattern here) I have attempted to appease an inner curiosity and longing for yoga but approached it with the wrong intent What fascinates me even more is that the OM symbol has been a silent voice to me for as long as I can remember. I would purchase trinkets with the symbol and scatter them on my shelves and dresser or adorn it with jewelry I would purchase.  I even considered it for my first tattoo. But I never "got" it, just an intuitive yearning. This time, I went with the sole purpose of learning how to … [Read more...]

#1 Dance Partner

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My Mom is still my favorite dance partner My fondest memories often revolve around those dances One of my fondest is teaching me to dance the Shimmy on Saturday nights in our living room to the tune of Proud Mary My Mom eloquent, poised, graceful, & fashionable, that still cuts a rug like no one's business My Mom strong, independent, generous, & kind   No matter what our strife, or struggles, or trials & tribulation she instilled and still supports the value of family and everybody just get along   Often, I have said, she put the fun in the dysfunction of our family My Mom is the beautiful rock and glue that holds … [Read more...]

Happiness First

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  Perhaps, we live our life backwards Instead of pursuing, chasing, and running toward things that make us happy Maybe, just maybe, we need to find the happiness first. You know the typical goal pursuits... Once I get _____________, then I will be happy. Once I become ------------------, then I will be happy. Once I achieve -------------------, then I will be happy What if we switched it around?   Once I am happy, then I will get ---------------------. Once I am happy, then I will become ---------------. Once I am happy, then I will achieve ---------------. You not only get to fill in the blanks, you get to CHOOSE how you want to get there! Enjoy … [Read more...]

Mindful, Intuitive Eating & Scary Yoga

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Writing my thoughts about mindful, intuitive eating and scary yoga has left many a post sitting in draft status.  Month after month, I write these posts and they sit quietly waiting for me to hit publish.  But as each week progresses, the posts are not quite as quiet. Several other people's post this week has stirred those posts demanding to be heard at extreme decibels. Deb, at Diet Schmiet, recent post of no meaning to the numbers, and somehow, i just saw an older post by Mizfit, when she cried during yoga , maybe it popped up because of a guest post by Poise in Parma about patience Next was Karen's practicing gratitude, and some behind the scenes awesomeness of Carol & … [Read more...]

Scales of Judgment

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Our own scales of judgment hold us back from things we declare that we so desperately want. With this Bombshell, I still believe its the attitude not the scale.  It is a long held belief, and yes, a value of mine. However, when I become so focused on my weight loss, feeling the judgmental pull of BMI, supported by the long held mantra of my mom, "What will the neighbors think?" all my worth and performance becomes solely fed by the poundage reading on that bathroom scale. My Sunday Scales showed a 6 pound loss after a week of shifting my focus onto other things in my life, particularly checking in with my values.  Deep values that have nothing to do with what others think or what … [Read more...]

Sunday Scales

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Amazing, simply amazing.... While I was off living my life, Doing what's right for me, Checking in with my values Shifting focus off the weight loss   The scale dropped 6 pounds Off to enjoy some more of my non-focus on weight loss living! Enjoy your day!   … [Read more...]

Self-Editing

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Editing my book, preparing for the publication date this summer, is an experience in body image and  self-esteem. Priding myself in my creative ideas, I write from a stream of consciousness. Awakening early in the morning, following a habit and theory of morning pages,  my voice of truth flowed onto the pages or computer screen. During the editing process, my fear and self-doubt manifests with each stroke of the  dreaded red pen! The voices of the characters of NOT play loudly. You know, not good enough, not correct, not .......fill in the thousands of blanks. The red ink of correction is drawing a path of communication as I move through the process. I write, … [Read more...]

Big Girl Lost

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Yesterday, in a quick online chat with Tara, she suggested I write my own Celebrate Jules post. Yeah, okay Tara!  Good Idea.  Telling her that post was in the works,  our conversation ended. I sat to write what I was celebrating. I purchased plane tickets to "go home" to the east coast this summer, to see family I miss, arrange to meet people I know only virtually, and even be a guest on a small talk show about writing. But, two things happened on the way to finishing that post.  Reading  Marzipan's post, The World Won’t Celebrate You if You Don’t Celebrate Yourself, started the directional change and this tweet, from Karen, completed it. I gave @BigGirlBombshel +K about … [Read more...]

My Loss of “Want To”

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I lost my "want to" My insatiable curiosity died I lost any interest in food Indifference replaced it Binges of movement disappeared Mindfulness became emptiness Why? Old behaviors no longer are comfortable New behaviors are foreign A moment of Sink or Swim Treading Water When the need to hasn't appeared and the want to is lost you have to make a choice the direction to take backward or forward At times when you lose the want to you HAVE to find your direction I am choosing  forward You?   … [Read more...]

Garden of Changes

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One thing that I know, life is full of changes Often, I forget there are stages to change and fall into old black and white thinking. Black is the thing I don't want and white is where I expect to be. Already, in the beginning stages of the fourth year of my garden, the lessons have begun. Lessons like Embarrassing Weeds and Shameful Garden Lessons Or turning my garden into a living dream board with Seeds of Encouragements from my readers. Last year, my setbacks and dieting is like a garden. As I worked to prepare my garden and care for those plants that took off on their own, I put down the weed protector to help me later in the season when the garden takes off … [Read more...]